


Kingsman: The Society of Strings

by felixnavidad_02, vikingeggs



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Arthur!Harry, Canon-Typical Violence, Dancing, Death, Drunk Dancing, Drunk Shenanigans, Established Harry Hart | Galahad/Merlin (Kingsman), Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fan Sequel, Heartbreak, Heavy Drinking, Internalized Biphobia, M/M, Merlin (Kingsman) Lives, No character bashing, Past Tilde/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Roxy Morton | Lancelot Lives, Slow Burn, Villains, Violence, headcanons, tags update with the chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-03-29 20:22:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13934673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixnavidad_02/pseuds/felixnavidad_02, https://archiveofourown.org/users/vikingeggs/pseuds/vikingeggs
Summary: There were still legal matters, but even as Eggsy’s regret swirled heavily in the ink in one of Tilde’s fancy-ass pens, he signed the papers and finalized it. He couldn’t help but still feel miserable. He felt like he had done something wrong, despite her insistence that he hadn’t. Of course, that night he washed his sorrows away with a bottle of rum and a marathon of the cartoon series, Scooby Doo.





	1. Ain't That the Way

The fact that Eggsy wasn’t particularly surprised about the fact that he’d been paired up with Tequila, once again, didn’t change the fact that he was entirely unenthused about it. The bastard totally got a kick out of it too, with the shit-eating grin that Tequila had flashed in the debrief. 

Their last mission, their fourth or fifth together (not that Eggsy had counted), was a honeypot with a pretty blonde girl from Scotland, her body language during the situation screaming her willingness to spend the night with the both of them. He and Tilde had spoken about honeypots and boundaries many times before, and it wasn’t an issue now that they were married as long as he kept her in the loop about it. This one was maybe the one exception, though, because this one was a  _ threesome  _ and Lord have mercy once he saw Tequila stark naked. Eggsy had admitted, once or twice to himself, that Tequila was  _ very  _ fit, but it went so, so downhill very quickly. The man was ridiculously hot. Not to mention smooth, charming, and just all around not-a-fucking-creep. 

Tilde wasn’t upset when Eggsy came home from that mission. She wasn’t happy either, though. Her entire demeanor was indifferent to any emotion that Eggsy normally saw her express when he came home from a mission. There was no excitement, no delighted kisses and groping that normally proceeded to happen after they’d been apart for so long. She just sat there at the kitchen table, looking up towards him expectantly. 

Her body language was hard to read, even for him, but what he could place told him that he should probably sit down and join her, and he did so, tapping his fingers against the palm of his hand. She didn’t say anything for a very long time, until finally she spoke, tone serious and calm. “Eggsy, we need to talk.”

“What is it babe? Is something wrong?” Eggsy furrowed his brow in concern and went to reach over and hold her hand, but she pulled them into her lap. He was surprised by this action, turning to look up at her face. “What? Did I do something wrong?”

“No! No, of course not.” She assured him, sighing softly, “This is something that’s been bothering me for a while. It’s myself, and-”

“Oh, woah, babe. You’re not going to apologize for something you did again that really didn’t hurt my feelings or nothin’, are you? Because when you smacked-”

“No, Eggsy, it’s not that.” She then said, before drawing in a deep breath, “I think we need a divorce.”

“Babe, what are you going on about? I thought you were happy and-”

“Eggsy, I am happy. I really,  _ truly _ am happy. I just… With how long we’ve been married, we’ve just grown more and more apart from each other. My love for you is still there, it really is, but I don’t think we should stay together. Not like this…” She hesitated, then added, “I think we need to see other people, Eggsy.”

“But Tilde…”

“Eggsy, please don’t make this any harder than it has to be.” She tears up. “I know you love me. I know… I just, I can’t do this. I need to be able to have someone next to me every night. Someone who doesn’t feel like a complete stranger after coming home from a ‘long day at work’.” She takes a shaky, cleansing breath, then lets it out, “This is for the best, Eggsy.”

He’s silent before he gives a nod. He closed his eyes and turned his head down to his hands. He opened his eyes once more to look at the wedding band on his finger before reluctantly wiggling it off from where it sat.

“We can still be friends, right?” He whispered, his tone seeming to show he was holding back tears, which promised to spill when he was finally alone.

“Of course Eggsy, and I’ll try and speak to you just as often as I do now.”

He nodded in understanding as he set the ring down on the table. “Alright, Tilde… I trust you on this…”

Hindsight was naturally 20/20. Eggsy should have seen it coming. He was the first one to bring it up, a month or so before the split. He had mentioned something to Tilde, about him not being suitable to give her an heir in a royal bloodline. But still, he could understand this logically and have regrets about jumping in headfirst while still feeling like shit about it. Feelings, as a law, liked to contradict fact. 

There were still legal matters, but even as Eggsy’s regret swirled heavily in the ink in one of Tilde’s fancy-ass pens, he signed the papers and finalized it. He couldn’t help but still feel miserable. He felt like he had done something wrong, despite her insistence that he hadn’t. Of course, that night he washed his sorrows away with a bottle of rum and a marathon of the cartoon series,  _ Scooby Doo. _

Now, during his sixth mission with Tequila, Eggsy’s bespoke suit felt a bit more like a prison than his armor. He tried to pay attention, acting natural in conversation with the mark, an older man by the name of Jon Werthers, who was interested in illegal organ trade in the black market and younger men who were less than half his age. Eggsy’s persona-- ‘Robert Davis’, the bashful and charismatic type-- was apparently very appealing, but Tequila was still necessary to keep their cover. 

Jon was going on about some story that was of no use to Eggsy, and had finished it up with an unfunny joke, but Eggsy had feigned interest and laughed to keep the mood light. Tequila had been following his lead, until his phone had chimed in his back pocket… his  _ personal  _ phone. 

“S’cuse me, I gotta take this, it’s my girl. Care to take over for me, Robert?”

“Sure thing,  _ Thomas _ .” Eggsy said, shooting a trained smile in his direction which purposefully didn’t hide all of the glare he shot his fellow agent. If he got their damn cover blown, Eggsy would never forgive him. Also, their mark was a  _ total fucking freak _ , and it would have been nice if he maybe had some backup. 

*~*~*

“You're fucking kidding me, right? Merlin, did’ya see the shit he pulled on the mission? The fuckin’ prick pulled out his  _ personal _ cell and answered a bloody call to some girl he's been shagging! Could have blown it for us!”

“Yes, I’m aware of this, Galahad. You seem to forget I was essentially there.” Merlin thumbed through some papers in his hands before setting them down in front of Harry, who was signing some documents off for mission approval.

“Gee,  _ Merlin _ , you’re acting like one hell of a-”

“Y’all need t’ jus’ loosen up a bit. Get that stick outta yer ass an’ all,” Tequila piped up, twirling his glasses in his hands absentmindedly.

Eggsy’s face flushed, blood boiling in his veins. Tequila had so much  _ nerve _ to say that.  _ He  _ didn’t need to loosen up.  _ Tequila  _ needed to quit getting distracted during missions! His mouth opened to start some witty retort before his mind had even thought of one, but Merlin gestured to the both of them with a snap of his fingers before Eggsy could even say anything. 

“Both of you, glasses on.”

Eggsy hesitated, glaring over at Tequila, before slipping his glasses on. He mumbled a loose string of expletives under his breath directed at the cowboy, the man in question donning a trademark grin at the reaction he’d received. 

“So, as it turns out, Tequila learned a little something about the young lady he’s been seeing. The phone call might have been pretty handy after all.” Merlin turned himself to their new mirror screen and Harry turned his gaze to watch them. Merlin flipped a picture onto the screen, “This is the lass he's been with.” The girl was pretty, Eggsy could say. She was a brunette, subtle freckles dotting her light skin. It really wasn't any wonder why Tequila had a thing for her. 

“Who is she? She seems sorta familiar.” Eggsy rubbed his chin then leaned into the palm of his hand.

“Fawn Newman.” Tequila grinned, “Sweeter than a sugarcube, that girl is. She’s an artist, likes doin’ landscapes… and naked fellas.”

Eggsy gaped at Tequila, the incredulous expression reading  _ ‘way-too-much-information-bruv’ _ , and Merlin’s exasperated eye-roll was audible in his huff. 

“I’m sure Merlin would appreciate it if you focused your attention on  _ him  _ rather than your personal lives.” Harry flipped a page in front of him over while he spoke, not looking up at them and turning his attention back to what his husband was doing.

“Thank you, Arthur.” Merlin said, giving Tequila and Eggsy a rather stern look. “As I was saying, Fawn Newman is the daughter of Dick Newman, a wealthy CEO with a dark past, commonly found linked to crime rings. Ergo, maybe something to look into. I’ll take care of doing-” 

“-Wait, so, wait, his name is Dick? It’s not even short for Richard?  _ Oh my God _ .” Now this was more than enough to cheer Eggsy up. 

“ _ Galahad _ .” 

“...Sorry, Arthur.” And the moment was gone. 

*~*~*

Eggsy was not a nosy bastard for hijacking Merlin’s feed of Tequila. Well, he very well might have been, but if he was, he’d have to admit that Merlin was  _ also  _ being a nosy bastard for monitoring Tequila’s girlfriend’s family dinner.

At that particular moment, Tequila had turned the charm up to eleven, putting on a massive show of manners. Using “sir”, “ma’am”,  _ and  _ “your lovely daughter”, he was officially comparable to a kid getting ready to take his girlfriend out on a first date to a school dance. 

“Why, thank you  _ Jesse _ , you’re a very sweet lad.” Fawn’s mother said, smiling brightly at Tequila.

Jesse? Tequila’s name was fucking _Jesse_? Why did Eggsy almost see that coming? He smirked. Oh, this was going to be a great night. 

“Well of course, Mrs. Newman, but I’m jus’ tryin’a be polite.”

“Please, dear, call me Shelly.” She batted her lashes at him and smiled towards her husband, who seemed wildly unimpressed by  _ Jesse’s _ show of manners.

Eggsy snorted, smirking. If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought Shelly was hitting on him… And God help the poor sap if that really  _ was _ the case. The jury was still out on that. 

Jesse laughed, “Alright, Shelly. If you insist.” He turned his head to look at Fawn, who giggled slightly. He must have had either some weird expression on his face or she found the situation amusing. Either way, the very faint sound of despair that he made was adorable… and absolutely  _ hilarious _ . Music to Eggsy’s ears. 

“Well, Mr. Hunter,--” Dick finally spoke up, causing Jesse to whip his head back in the direction of where Fawn’s parents sat, “--while you may have won my daughter and wife’s affection with your charm, you haven’t entirely won me over just yet. What is it exactly that you  _ do _ ? I only want the best for my little Fawn.”

“Daddy, I’m not 12 anymore!” Fawn’s indignant voice came from behind Jesse. 

“I er… uh… Well, sir, um…” He had to pause to think for a moment, when Merlin saved the conversation from over the com line. 

_ “You’re the manager of the new distillery in Scotland.” _

“I’m actually the, uh, manager of the new Statesman distillery that’s been built over in Edinburgh.”

Dick raised his brow at this new information, “Is that so?” He tapped his fork on the table slightly in thought, “Well, it’s a pleasure then, Mr. Hunter. You come from old or new money?”

“Er…”

_ “Saying you’re from old money makes you sound more responsible and trustworthy.” _

“Old.”

Dick nodded at this, a smile beginning to form on his lips. “Shelly, I believe we’re ready for dessert. Mind fetching that for us?”

“Certainly, love.” Shelly stood up, collecting the plates from where they each sat in front of everyone and carried them to the kitchen. A painful silence rang out, lasting a minute or so afterwards. It sort of made Eggsy mildly uncomfortable for poor Jesse, who had turned his head to his girlfriend to avoid her father’s steely glare.

Just as he laced their fingers together and began a light banter, Shelly returned with a black forest gateau and a  _ very large _ kitchen knife, which she used to cut the cake with after setting it down. Jesse and Fawn continued to speak in hushed tones.

“Your family seems real nice, baby girl.”

She smiled brightly, “Maybe one day I can meet yours too.”

Jesse hesitated before speaking, “Yeah. Maybe one day you can.”

Eggsy winced. He could only see from Jesse’s first-person view, and thus had limited insight into body language, but the anxiety in the air was palpable. Jesse had tensed up immediately, but his girlfriend didn’t even seem to notice. Fawn even went on to push the subject. 

“And then after that, we can probably get married, have a couple of kids… Be a happy family together, all domestic and such. Of course, that would be  _ after _ I graduate from Cambridge. Don’t want a family or anything getting in the way of my studies. It may set me back a year or so.”

Eggsy rubbed the back of his neck, the pleasure he’d got from the situation crashing and burning. He had thought this was  _ funny _ . Jesse, though, wasn’t having an ideal introduction dinner. 

Shelly, the absolute Godsend she had proven to be, gave Tequila an out for the conversation as she placed a slice of cake before him and gave a gently understanding smile. “Ah, thanks Mrs. New- er… Shelly. Thanks Shelly.”

“Of course, dear.” She sat down and a new silence took place, the air so silent that everyone seemed to be afraid to touch it for fear of it shattering. Except for Dick, though, who crashed through the silence by intermittently barraging Jesse with questions. The way he sounded when he spoke to Jesse really showed how much of a prick he was. Eggsy could understand the urge to stay silent, though. He knew he’d do the same.

After dinner was over, Fawn excused herself and Jesse before grabbing him by his sleeve and tugging him away from the dining table and to her bedroom. In the feed, Eggsy briefly caught a glimpse of a  _ very  _ menacing Dick. 

The mood changed from being calm to heated in a matter of seconds when Fawn pulled Jesse down into a passionate kiss. It was obvious he was startled by the burst, considering he let out a shocked, muffled yelp before diving in for it. He moved his hands around her waist, pressing one down her skirt and--

Eggsy frantically shut off the feed, face growing red-hot at what he’d just witnessed. He was  _ never, ever _ telling Jesse, let alone anyone else, about what he’d seen. It was enough to leave an unnecessarily detailed mental image in his head, even from just one little scene between the two of them.

 


	2. To You I'm A Toy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “C’mon, Eggs Benedict! Don’t fight it, jus’ dance with me!”
> 
> “But, Jesse, wait!” He laughed, trying to fit in pace with him.
> 
> Jesse furrowed his brow, looking down at the smaller man with confusion written on his features, “I hadn’t told ya my name yet.”

The fact that Eggsy had a strong and lasting dislike for the other agent didn’t change how much damn empathy he could feel, what with the situation Tequila seemed to be in and all. Well, perhaps he should think of him as  _ Jesse  _ in this incredibly non-professional setting.

The cowboy obviously had already been buzzed when he arrived but now he was rapidly reaching the point of becoming totally shitfaced. Situated at the kitchen counter, Jesse had started drinking like there’d be no tomorrow, and the conversation had devolved into alcohol-fueled tangents. 

“My pops was a fuckin’ idjit… total snake in the grass.” Jesse’s voice came out a mumbled slur, barely comprehensible to sober souls. Luckily, Eggsy was pretty sure he was similarly not sober, several shots in himself. “I dun think his own papa raised ‘im right. Probably beat ‘im over the head one-too-many times with a stick so he could eat corn through a fence. Maybe that’s why he battered me an’ mama.” He let Eggsy fill his shot glass with another round of whiskey, which had been provided by their new distillery before downing it in half a second flat.

“How d’you say ‘heartless bastard’ in Southern-talk?” 

“Uh, ‘heart’s a thumpin’ gizzard’?” 

Eggsy blinked. “Whatever the fuck you just said, that was my stepdad. Total prick. I feel ya, mate.” 

“Yeah.” Jesse rubbed his temples, drawing in a sigh. He seemed so tense, and when he finally let out a little sob Eggsy was unsure how to react. “She fuckin’ left me… She dumped me and I dunno  _ why _ . I actually sorta liked her… My only issue with the relationship was me not really wanting to think of things like that so early… Mostly because I wasn’t so sure about how I really felt about her and I, but also ‘cause I’m not really one for settlin’ down. Even with a pretty little lady like her.” 

“Tilde and I separated too.” Eggsy went for another shot of the whiskey. “Fucking devastating. She and I, our thing wasn’t perfect, but it worked… I was happy, thought she was too.” He fidgeted with the golden ring on the necklace chain, shining under the dim lighting. 

Jesse reached over and placed his hand on Eggsy’s arm, a gentle sympathetic smile on his face before it faded. Pouring more whiskey into their empty glasses, he raised his slightly. Eggsy followed suit, despite slight confusion clouding his thoughts. “We oughta toast to misery. Shitty dads an’ shitty love lives.”

Eggsy cracked a pained grin and clinked the little shot glasses together, “Bottoms up.” The two of them downed the whiskey again. The alcohol would not be kind to them the next morning.

“Ooh, Eggsy. You got a stereo?”

“Uhhh… Yeah, hold up.” He staggered to his feet, knocking over the empty bottle of Statesman whiskey beside the half-full one that still sat on the marble counter in front of Jesse, eyes trained on Eggsy as he left the room, stumbling with purpose. Eggsy returned after a moment, “Come on, cowboy. I got it all set up.”

“Alright.” Jesse stood up, pulling out his cellphone and following Eggsy to the living room. “Aux cord?”

“Yeah, hand the phone over, I’ll getchya hooked up.” He reached out his hand and made a grabbing motion at him. Jesse placed the phone in his hand and Eggsy didn’t even look at the song as he plugged the device in and played it.

The opening chords to  _ Build Me Up Buttercup _ by the Foundations cut through the air, punctuated by Eggsy’s loud groan and Jesse’s giggle. “C’mon, Eggsy. ‘s not  _ that _ bad.”

_ “Why do you build me up, (build me up), buttercup, baby, just to let me down-” _

Eggsy sighed heavily, trying to hide the big smile that was forming on his lips and failing miserably. He let out a startled yelp when Jesse grabbed his wrists, pulling him closer, swaying with him and dancing carelessly in the middle of the living room with him as the song played.

“J-”

“C’mon, Eggs Benedict! Don’t fight it, jus’ dance with me!”

“But, Jesse, wait!” He laughed, trying to fit in pace with him.

Jesse furrowed his brow, looking down at the smaller man with confusion written on his features, “I hadn’t told ya my name yet.”

_ “-need you, more than anyone darlin’, you know that I have from the start-” _

“I er-m… Looked... through your… file?”

“Don’t be pissin’ on my leg and tellin’ me it’s rainin’, Eggy Ben.” He mumbled, rolling his eyes, “You watched my glasses feed, didn’t ya?”

Eggsy shut his mouth, thinking really hard on it for a moment, screwing it up into something that seemed very uncomfortable due to having to think while he was near the poisoning levels of alcohol consumption. “I eh… Yeah?”

“How much?” Jesse smirked and Eggsy turned a bit redder than he already was from drinking.

_ “-be over at ten, you told me time and again, but you’re late-” _

“‘Til you and Fawn went to her room to shag.”

“Ah, that’s a shame. You would’a enjoyed the show. She makes the prettiest noises when you-”

“STOP!” He quickly covered Jesse’s mouth with his hands and Jesse licked his palms, “Ugh! You gross fuck!”

Jesse gave a jovial chuckle and took Eggsy’s hands again and spun them around. Eggsy, of course, was not enjoying the situation.

“Oh shit- Jesse please! Gonna be sick, oh-  _ God _ !”

Jesse stopped only when he started to feel sick to, releasing Eggsy and allowing him to stumble to the couch. Jesse groaned, rubbing his head, “Shit…”

_ “I’ll be home, I’ll be beside the phone, waiting for youuu-!” _

“Maybe-” Eggsy covered his mouth as he tried to muffle a burp, then patted the couch, “-Maybe you should sit down? But turn that bloody music off first,  _ please _ .”

_ “Why do you build me up-” _

Jesse abruptly unplugged his phone from the cord, then stumbled over sitting beside him with a light groan before sinking into the couch with a comforted sigh. He gave a soft hum as Eggsy patted his shoulder, allowing them both to let their stomachs settle.

“So, mind actually telling me what the hell happened between you two?” Eggsy asked, bringing his legs up on the couch and slinging them over Jesse’s lap as he laid back and covered his eyes with his arm. 

Jesse tensed, taking in a deep breath before opening his mouth and starting to regale his sordid tale. 

*~*~*

Jesse grabs his jacket on the way out of the distillery, feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket as he slipped it on. He reached in his pocket, pulling it out and smiling when he saw the ID.  _ Fawn _ , bracketed with a few red heart emojis.

“Hiya, darlin’. I’m jus’ about to head home.”

_ “Yeah, about that… listen, Jesse, I hate to tell you like this, but… we should break up. This won’t work out.”  _

Jesse nearly dropped his phone, but tightened his grip on it. “What? But- Fawn, baby girl, I thought-”

_ “Yeah, well, you thought wrong. I’m sorry, Jesse. I just… It’s not me, it’s you. I can’t do this with you.” _

“Fawn…”

_ “I packed your things for you. The bag is out on the doorstep. I won’t see you when you get here. Bye, Jesse.” _

The line goes dead, the sudden silence overwhelming. Jesse was left standing in the snow, hands chilling with every second he loses himself in his thoughts. His eyes welled up with tears that were threatening to spill over, his chest tightening as if it was closing in on itself, trying to crush his heart and lungs. 

He reached up, wiping away the few tears that had succeeded in their goal of escaping, as he suddenly realized how cold it was outside, the ordinarily frigid winter aura frosting over as the early night overtook the air and froze it. Phone still in hand, he had tried to reach Fawn once more, but all he got was her recorded voicemail. It was pointless to try again, so he paused for a moment before dialing Eggsy’s number. 

“Hey, uh… Can I come crash with ya for the night, Eggsy?”

“What?” A beat of silence. “...Why?” 

“I… I need a place to stay. I’ll tell ya later. Please?”

“Ugh, fine.”

“See ya in a few.”

“Bye, Tequila.”

Jesse hung up as he got in the cab, speaking as he got in. “I need ya to take me to Agent Galahad’s home, and make a pit stop at my uh… my girl’s place on the way.” The driver nodded as he pulled onto the road, going south towards London. 

It was a short few minutes to Fawn’s flat, and no amount of deep breaths could prepare him for what he’d have to do next. Jesse stepped out, drawing in a breath, and heading towards the front door and up the steps to the doorstep. His heart fluctuated wildly from beating so hard it’d leave his chest to feeling as if it wasn’t beating at all. God, where was tough guy Jesse when he needed to be him? Relationships were his big weakness, and now the warmth was gone, leaving an inky black mess where the mutual love used to be held. 

Without lingering, he turned back, bag in hand. Leaving the past where it lay. 

*~*~*

“And tha’s when I got here.” Jesse patted Eggsy’s legs, which were still slung over his lap.

Eggsy frowned, sliding his arm off his face as he sat up, “Ah, shit, bruv. Real sorry she did that t’ you.” He looked down at his legs, swung them off and down onto the floor, standing up. “Hey, I know a great way to cheer ya up... besides alcohol, that is.”

“Yeah? Is that so? Prove it.”

He went to his stereo, plugging in his own phone this time, scrolling through his music library. Jesse simply watched him. 

The opening chords to  _ Footloose _ started playing as Eggsy kicked his shoes off and started shimmying his way over to Jesse, who started to grin. “Fucking- Christ, Eggsy.”

“C’mon cowboy! Off your arse! Let’s dance ‘til we throw up.” 

_ “Been working so hard, I'm punching my card-” _

“You’re gross.” He stood up though, going to Eggsy and taking his hands, doing one of the stupidest dances Jesse had ever done, with Eggsy.

“Says the wanker who  _ licked _ my hands.”

“Maybe you’ll learn to keep them away from m’ face next time, ya lil chicken fruit!” Jesse retorted, his trademark lopsided grin shining on his face. 

_ “Now I gotta cut loose, footloose, kick off the Sunday shoes!-” _

Eggsy laughed. “What the genuine fuck is a  _ chicken fruit _ ?”

“It’s an egg, obviously!”

“You Americans say the weirdest shit.”

Jesse laughed, “Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah. Definitely.” Eggsy swayed his hips and yanked him down closer, just millimeters away from Tequila’s face. “If you lick my fuckin’ hand again, I’ll kick your arse, cowboy.”

_ “-playing so cool, obeying every rule-” _

Jesse simply grinned at him, not saying anything. Eggsy could smell his breath now. A mix of whiskey and cinnamon. He swallowed as Jesse finally spoke, “Is that a threat, Eggboy?”

_ “You're burning, yearning for the some-somebody to tell you-” _

“ _ Yes _ .” He replied, tone harsh but not completely serious.

The both of them jumped when their phones started vibrating at the same time and the music cut out. Eggsy released Jesse, making his way over to where he had his phone plugged in and looked at it just as Jesse pulled out his.

“F- fuck’s sake… Really, work?”

“Guess so.”

“I’ll call the fuckin’ cab, I s’pose.” He groaned, slumping off up the stairs of his home to go put his suit on.

Eggsy clumsily readied himself, then headed back down the stairs to where Jesse was grabbing his jacket off the coat rack, trying not to fall over by bracing himself against the wall.

The two men clambered out to the cab when it arrived, shoving themselves in and leaning against each other, talking.

“My brain is never going to forgive me, mate.”

“Same here, bud.” 

Thankfully, there were a few thoughts that remained in Eggsy’s mind instead of leaving his mouth. He’d prefer to not have to explain them and the motivations hidden behind him. 

Once they arrived at the shop, Roxy stood there, mouth agape and staring at her fellow agents, who were now holding each other up so that they wouldn’t fall over. “How much have you both had to drink tonight?”

Eggsy was silent for a moment and then he said, “Yes.”

“No- Christ… How much, you knob?” She ran a hand through her significantly shorter hair. 

Jesse answers this time, “Iiiehhhhh… Yessss…?” He paled, looking as if he’d be sick. 

“Fucking hell…” Roxy groaned, “You two stay here. Don’t move, do  _ not _ go near any fabric.”

“Sure thing, Lancey…” Jesse mumbled, still leaning against Eggsy.

Roxy made her way to the dining room where Merlin and Harry were waiting for the two of them. She returned moments later with the wizard, who rubbed his temples.

“Christ, you two.”

“Yes?”

“How much have you been drinking? How many bottles?”

“... 1.5 alcohols, I… I think.” Eggsy slurred.

“What the hell does that even  _ mean _ \- you know what? You two, take yourselves back home. Lay down. Go to sleep. I’ll send you reminders in the morning. If you’re late, Harry will not be able to stop me from killing you both.”

“Yeah, yeah… We get it, can we go now, Merls?”

“Just- get out… Lancelot, make sure to monitor them so they don’t do anything  _ stupid _ in the meantime.”

“Sure thing, Merlin.”

“Excuse me, me and Jesse don’t need a nanny!”

“Yes,  _ Galahad _ , you do. Especially after what I’ve seen you do when you’ve only had  _ one _ shot.” Merlin said as he turned away, voice stern and very upset. Eggsy watched him head up the stairs before looking at Roxy and Jesse. Jesse was on the verge of bursting into laughter and Roxy  _ really _ didn’t seem all that enthused.

God, it’d be a very long ride home. 


	3. Devil's On the Loose

“Ah, Galahad, Tequila. Glad you could make it!” Merlin’s greeting rang out, a falsely-chipper tone accentuated by the sheer loudness. “I see you lost a few brain cells from your drinking session last night. How’s that turning out for you?”

“I can’t bloody remember anything.”

“I vividly remember Lancelot tucking me in…”

Merlin gestured at the chairs, “Well, now that you’re here and sober, have a listen to your next mission.” 

“More or less sober, yeah,” Eggsy said under his breath, slumping into one of the chairs.

“Couldn’t this’ve waited until-”

“No, it couldn’t, Tequila. In fact, you should have headed out this morning, but since you made some bad decisions last night, I had to wait to until  _ now _ .”

Harry chuckled lightly. “We did inform you that you may be called in late this week. So… perhaps you shouldn’t have done that.”

Eggsy waved his hand dismissively, still rubbing his head. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. What’s the new mission?”

“That’s the spirit, Galahad!” Merlin smirked. “So, the Amazon rainforest in Brazil. According to some intel we have gathered through our monitoring of the black market as of recent, we have discovered there is a quaint little hub for the harvesting of organs and the slave trade in a remote area located there.”

“Did you just describe an illegal organ trade hub as  _ quaint _ ?” Roxy asked, confusion drawn across her face. 

“Yes, he did. Eventually, you learn not to question it.” A gentle smile played on Harry’s lips. 

“So what’s the plan?”

“Stupid question.” Merlin tapped on his clipboard, briefly showing schematics on the screen before he unlinked the projection. “That’s your job, figuring that out. I’m sending the both of you down there to investigate, possibly break the trade, save some lives. Usual drill, save the world. You’re good at that.” 

“Christ,  _ again _ ?” Eggsy groaned.

Jesse grinned smugly. “Well, lucky you, right Galahad?”

“Ugh. Fuck off.”

*~*~*

“You know what, Tequila? You can shut the fuck up. You’re the one who got us into this bloody mess, you fuckin’ chav!”

“I’m not the hussy who walked right into their damn line of sight!”

Eggsy gasped at the insult, struggling at his restraints, “Once I get out of these fucking ropes, I’m going to shove my foot up your arse with the blade out!”

“Oh, watch it, Galahad, you’re showing your kinks!”

“You fuckin’ prick!” He shouted, trying even harder to get out so he could strangle the other agent.

“Hey!” A middle aged man emerged from the other room, small round glasses perched on the bridge of his nose and a enamel pin on his coat lapel. It was a bronze crest centered with a  yew twig with two of it’s deadly crimson berries embossed on it, and the lettering of ‘TLO’ below branch of the same shade of crimson, which shimmered like a fresh pool of blood. As the man got closer, the necklace under his collared shirt came into their vision as well. “Both of you, quiet down. We’re attempting to finish our work in the other room before we take care of  _ you _ .”

Eggsy took a moment to capture a picture of the pin and necklace with his glasses-camera. The feed to Merlin back at HQ had been cut dead for a long while now, but he saved it to the memory for later. 

The man exited after a moment, but the speaking that had been muffled and distant before was now much closer and clearer, understandable to the unlucky agents in the dark room. 

“The Good Lord, Tirzah Osgood, will not be pleased.”

Someone tutted the person who had spoken, “Now, now, apostle Delilah. We must not jump to such conclusions as that. I believe Osgood will be proud of our findings! These two young men are healthy, great potential for the sacrifice in our Lord’s good name.”

“Shit!” Tequila hissed under his breath. 

Eggsy swallowed thickly. “Yeah, my sentiments exactly.” He thought for a long moment and then glanced down at his shoes… His legs weren’t tied together. Ooh. They could get out of this, easy peasy. “Tequila, I need you to hold  _ very _ still because if you don’t it  _ may _ kill you.”

“Christ, are you going to-”

“Yes. That’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

Eggsy, as quietly as possibly, scooted around on the floor so he faced Tequila’s back. He maneuvered his hands under himself and to his front then knocked his shoes together. He glanced at the doorway quickly before beginning to saw the ropes off his wrists. They weren’t the best knots, but it was really tough rope to untangle.

As soon as the rope around his wrists was cut away, Eggsy took his foot and started to carefully cut Tequila out of his binding. As soon as he finished cutting away just barely any of it, Tequila broke free and stumbled to his feet. This allowed Eggsy some time to get the blade back into his shoe before Tequila held out a hand to him in an offer to help him to his feet. Eggsy took his hand and Tequila pulled him up and close, looking towards the doorway.

“Now, let’s get the hell out of here, cowboy.” Eggsy mumbled, stepping away from Tequila and rushing towards the crate which he assumed contained their weapons. When he tried to open it though, he failed miserably before realizing it was sealed shut. 

“Shit, Galahad? We got company.” Tequila reached for his gun, then realized two things very quickly. One was that  _ having a gun  _ was essential to this process, and the second was that he didn’t actually have his. 

Just then, three men with similar necklaces as the man from before walked into the room. Eggsy turned to look. “Oh, fuck me…” He whispered.

“Farah! Go warn the messiah!” The biggest one barked at the blond, who rushed out.

Tequila had made his way to Eggsy’s side. “I’ll main the bigger one.”

“Gotchya. I’ll take on the twink.” Eggsy nodded.

Eggsy went for the smaller guy, who quickly drew a flick knife and attempted to strike him with it and failed due to Eggsy grabbing his wrist and swiping it from his hand. The man punched him square in the face and Eggsy stumbled back before going back for him and jamming the blade in right below his sternum, which caused him to let out a cry of pain. The guy struggled a moment to get free as Eggsy grabbed him by the collar of his coat, swinging him so he was the one in front of the crate. A few things happened in quick succession: Eggsy stepped one foot behind the other, pivoted abruptly, and pushed the man backwards into the crate. The crate broke open, the wood that made it up splintering beneath the weight of him.

Eggsy, whose nose had begun to bleed profusely, had grabbed his gun and turned back to Tequila who was struggling with the other opponent. Eggsy aimed, shooting the guy in the head.

“Fuck- thanks for the help.” Tequila glanced back at the door as he went over to grab his things. Lasso, guns, watch.

Eggsy grabbed the rest of his things as well and ran towards the door, looking around suspiciously before heading out into the corridor. It was silent, empty. Barren of anybody who could have been wandering moments earlier. Tequila followed suit, quietly stepping his way along behind Eggsy and watching his back for him. If anyone showed up, Tequila could hopefully take them down before they could do much.

Eggsy tapped on his glasses, trying to get his link back to Merlin, “Fuck- fuck-  _ fuck _ -” He whispered to himself before giving up. Eggsy leaned against the door of a room at the end, pressing his ear against it then looking at Tequila, “My connection won’t come back, think you can try?”

There’s a pause as Tequila tries to get his to connect again before failing as well, “They must have some sort of signal jammer that’s interfering with our connection to ‘im.”

“Go figure.” He then waved him over, “Have a listen.”

Tequila pressed his ear to the door. Inside he could hear crying and hushed whispers. Those must have been the people they were trying to save from this fucking disaster. There had to be 3 people in there, no more or less.

“Sounds like ‘em.”

“Yeah.”

Eggsy tried the door, but it was locked. Suddenly he heard a group of maybe five or six people headed their way. Eggsy, in a panic, said “Ah, bollocks,” and broke open the door with his foot.  _ Fuck _ that hurt but it was worth it because there the three of them were. A whole family. Two little girls and their father.

_ “Grab them, you bloody idiots! Before they get away!” _ an angry woman’s voice bellowed from behind them and there was a scuffle of feet as Eggsy ran over and helped untangle both the girls then the father from their binds. Tequila picked up one of the girls in a rush.

“Can you run at all?” Tequila asked the father.

“I- yeah. I can.” 

“Good.” Eggsy helped him to his feet and grabbed the other girl. Thank  _ fuck _ there was another door in the room, which looked to be the perfect exit route. “That our exit?”

“I have no idea.” 

“Well, we won’t know until we check then yeah?”

Eggsy and Tequila shoved the guy along to start running as the footsteps got closer, and Eggsy flung open the door to thick jungle.  _ Fuck _ . Hopefully his GPS worked, otherwise they were going to end up lost. He tried tapping at his glasses again and was provided with nothing once more.

“Damn.”

Eggsy just started running after that, not daring to look behind him, knowing all too well that they would see a bunch of goons coming for them. “Tequila, which way is north?!” 

“I don’t fucking know!”

“You are no bloody help, you know that? You’re the one with the stupid compass built into your watch!”

There’s a long pause as the crunching of leaves and debris under their feet fills the silence while they run.

“Oh yeah.” He huffed out. Tequila looked down at his watch, checking to see if it was working. “Oh, north is that way, Galahad!”

Eggsy quickly cut in the direction to his right, Tequila and the father close behind. The footsteps seemed to be fading and after another 5 minutes of running, they came to a stop, breathing heavily. “Shit, I think we’re safe for now.”

_ “Gal…quila…C…in…c…ear…me?”  _ Merlin’s voice came over their coms and Eggsy’s expression lit up as he set down the little girl so she could stand with her father.

“Merlin? Merlin, is that you?”

“Hell, it’s good to hear ya.”

The voice started getting clearer.  _ “Te…la? Gala…”  _ There was a pause before he could be fully heard,  _ “Tequila, Galahad! Thank God, Arthur and I assumed the worst there for a while. Are you alright?” _

“We’re alright, yeah.”

“We’re nearly finished with the lil’ rescue mission.”

_ “Well, get out of there quickly. I’m getting readings all over the radar.” _

“Shit. Where from?”

_ “Heat signals from south, south east, and south west.” _

“Shit.”

By now, Tequila was already ushering Eggsy to take the little girl back in his arms so they could get a move on. “Come on, I have the GPS open. We’re only about a mile away from the rendezvous point with Lancelot, then we can get the hell out of here. Think y’all can make it?” He looked at each of the family members, the father nodding when Tequila finally looked at him.

_ “Better hurry. They’re closing in. Fast.” _

Eggsy and Tequila started running again, the father of the two girls being forced ahead by them so that they wouldn’t accidentally leave him behind. They came to a stop when they reached a large, raging river.

“Shit.”

“What now, Merlin?”

_ “Well, a bit of a way upstream there’s a calmer spot.” _

“How does that help us any?”

_ “If I recall correctly, you both know how to swim.” _

They looked between each other, groaning. “Ah, bugger.” Eggsy mumbled, heading towards upstream with Tequila. 

“Hey, big guy, ever take swimming lessons?” Tequila looked at the father, who nodded.

“Yeah?”

“Well, you’re about to put those skills into use.”

“... Great.”

_ “You’re there, stop.” _

Eggsy stopped at the river. He would have to carry a  _ child _ through this.

“Merlin how deep is it?”

_ “1.68 meters.” _

“... Oh,  _ fuck _ .” He was certainly not tall enough, but he had to try.

“Alright, you two go first.” Eggsy said.

“You got it.”

Tequila waded into the water, putting the little girl up on his shoulders so she wouldn’t go under and began to go through the water, followed by the father, and then Eggsy in the back, who had done the same and allowed the girl to make a perch on his shoulders. It wasn’t horrible, he had to admit, but he was pretty positive this was the  _ Amazon _ river. They were in the  _ Amazon _ rainforest, after all. This meant black caimans, piranha, and an assortment of other deadly animals that would likely try to kill him or the girl. Now, while caimans  _ normally _ ate fish and other small creatures, if he made a wrong step and ran into one, well....

It didn’t take that long to get through, though, and when Tequila made it to the shore, he set the girl down before going back into the water to help Eggsy. When he got just about a foot away from him though, he yelped in pain. Eggsy’s eyes widened. Apparently, he had been lucky, and  _ Tequila  _ had been the one to misstep. 

“Once you do that, could I get a little help? No wait, nevermind, I already lost my leg because you’re so  _ slow _ .” 

“Oh, piss off!” Eggsy got her on shore and went back to help Tequila, who nearly had whatever was on his leg off.

*~*~*

“You know, Tequila. You’re more of a drama queen than Eggsy.” Merlin finished wrapping up the stitches on his leg with the ace bandages. “That caiman barely got its teeth in. You’re actually very lucky the jaws didn’t break any bones… or should I have cut it off and made you suffer with the thought of having lost a wee leg?” Merlin’s eyes dropped to his own legs at that, tone cutting with the sarcasm that sizzled as if it was acid in the air. 

“I’m real sorry, Merlin…” 

Merlin scoffed. “Thanks. ‘Sorry’  _ really  _ does a lot in this situation.” 

Eggsy wanted to say something, but kept his mouth shut. Deciding it best not to sound like a prick.

“Well, now that this is all finished and cleaned up, you two should head to the dining room so we can go through the debriefing. Your calf should be numb in a few minutes.”

“Peachy…”

Merlin left the room, Eggsy sticking behind, “Hey, if you still need a place to stay, you can stay the night over at my place again. I know ya don’t particularly enjoy living in HQ, and you gotta detach yourself from this place sometimes, so… If you want, my door’s open for you.”

Jesse stared at him for a long moment before grinning, “So long as you don’t force me to sleep on the couch.” 

There was a particular distinction between  _ “Jesse” _ and  _ “Tequila” _ . Eggsy wouldn’t judge for that at all, he was aware of his own differences between “Eggsy” and “Galahad”. The only one who didn’t shift personas was Roxy. The thought that Jesse would let Eggsy see his casual side, well, it made his trademark grin even more contagious than usual. Jesse was starting to really grow on him.

Eggsy helped him to his feet and Jesse winced slightly before the pain subsided. “It’s all good.” Jesse assured, shaking his leg slightly to get used to it, “Jus’ got a weird sensation, is all.”

Eggsy chortled as he stepped forward, watching the expression on Jesse’s face as he struggled to get used to it for a moment before relaxing.

“Damn, I  _ really _ don’t like that.”

“Yeah, well you’re stuck that way until it heals.”

Jesse muttered something under his breath and hobbled out of the medical bay with Eggsy in tow, who pulled out his phone and started to text Roxy along the way.

<Egg kid> Today, 6:45 PM  
_guess what happened_

<Rox> Today, 6:45 PM  
_Well, considering Merlin just slumped into the dining room and looked like he was going to throw himself into his husband’s arms, I can only assume either you or Tequila fucked up something_

<Egg kid> Today, 6:46 PM  
_o yea, tequila definitely fucked up something. merlin was not 2 happy lol u shoulda seen his face_

<Rox> Today, 6:47 PM  
_I see it right now. He doesn’t look too amused._

<Egg kid> Today, 6:47 PM  
_X’D i’ll tell ya more later, rox. Lmao_

Eggsy waltzed into the dining room and immediately sat down, accompanied by Jesse, who got another an uncomfortable look on his face when he sat down in a chair. He snorted, covering his mouth to hold back a laugh. Jesse glared at him across the table and Merlin cleared his throat.

Eggsy didn’t realize how tired he was until Merlin began to talk and he sank into the comfortable cushions provided by the chair.

“Galahad, are you okay?”

“Hng… yeah, ‘m alright Merls… jus' a bit sleepy.”

Merlin looked at Jesse, who looked much more tired, and then Roxy who seemed exhausted as well.

“Maybe you should all head home. Rest and come in around 10 AM for your debriefing. I think it’s best.”

“... Alright.” He stood back up and yawned. “You comin’ with, Jesse?”

“Yeah sure. Let’s go then.” He pulled himself up and Eggsy laughed at the expression he got once more. The uncomfortable look Jesse got whenever he moved his leg was  _ priceless _ . Served him right for being a prick. 

The ride home was silent outside a couple remarks regarding the weather that night (“It's clear for once. Thank God it stopped snowing.” “You say that now, try living here for 20 some odd years. You're gonna  _ hate _ it if you stay here longer.”). 

Once finally home, Eggsy kicked out of his shoes and slipped the blazer of his suit off with one smooth motion, dropping it on a chair as he untied the necktie he still wore. He slipped that off as well, tossing it on his nightstand as he walked towards the bed and slumped down into it. Jesse was close behind, shucking off his denim jacket and tossing his hat on the dresser. He went to land on the bed, but missed and fell onto the floor instead. 

Jesse groaned in pain but didn't move as Eggsy threw a spare blanket down on him. “Night, cowboy….”

“Can I get a pillow?”

A pause.

“I’ll think about it.”


	4. Lord, I'm Coming Home to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, I’m assuming you didn’t ask her about her religious status.”
> 
> “Well, yeah no. I didn’t. Not exactly somethin’ that should be brought up while flirting or in the bedroom when I’m trying to-”
> 
> “Tequila, please don’t finish that sentence!” Merlin’s voice rang out, alarmed.
> 
> “-... kiss her?”

Jesse rolled over in his sleep the next morning and found Eggsy had thrown a pillow on him while he rested. Eggsy, of course, was sound asleep in the bed. Eggsy suddenly woke up with a jolt when the sound of his phone’s ringer went off right by his ear.

_ Fantastic _ .

In a rush, Eggsy took a shower and Jesse ate and made breakfast, then Eggsy ate breakfast while Jesse showered. As soon as Jesse came out of the shower, Eggsy demanded his recipe for the food he had made and Jesse simply smirked.

“Sorry, pardner. Mama’s recipe. Can’t tell ya.”

“Fuckin- what is it anyways? It’s heaven sent.”

“Biscuits and gravy.” He shrugged, “You had some buttermilk and sausage, so I thought you might enjoy it. Guess I was right.” 

“... If you were into guys, I’d offer you sex for more of this every day, mate.”

Jesse laughed at that before patting his back, “Get your shoes on and let’s head out.

Eggsy huffed and grabbed his oxfords, slipping them on easily and heading out the door with him while they chatted about what they should bring up in the debrief. The car ride there was quick too, not super lengthy unlike usual. In fact, it was actually… Pleasant.

Roxy rolled her eyes at the both of them when they came in and sat down, smug grins on their faces.

“Morning Galahad, Tequila. Glad to see you’re in good moods.”

“Woke up bright eyed an’ bushy tailed, Merlin.” Jesse said, still grinning.

“I assume you slept well.”

“Oh, I slept like a baby.” Eggsy said.

“I was on the floor, but I feel like I slept like a bear.”

“Good to hear.”

“So, let’s start then. Yeah?” Roxy interjected, mildly annoyed. The tone of her voice instinctively made Jesse sit up a bit straighter and brought a more serious expression to his face. 

“Of course.” Merlin turned away, immediately bringing up the image that Eggsy had got of the necklace and pin from earlier. “This is a photograph that Galahad took on the camera in the glasses. Same with this on Tequila’s.” he flipped to another image of the same pin and similar necklace, but on another man. “I’m not quite sure what this could be, but what I’m guessing is that this is some sort of crime ring or underground criminal business.”

“Wait, wait, hold up,” Tequila said, facial expression of a man who just connected a few puzzle pieces, because essentially he had. “I knew that shit was familiar, but I didn’t know how. Merlin, you happen to record the dinner I had with Fawn?” 

“Yes?” Merlin responded, pulling up the footage in just a few taps of his clipboard. 

“There, right there!” Tequila grabbed the clipboard, which elicited a squeak of protest from Merlin, and zoomed in on a paused image of Fawn. “She always wore a real similar necklace to those from our pictures. And a slightly fancier pin than those goons, but-” 

“A connection nonetheless,” Merlin finished, taking his clipboard back. “Interesting.”

“Knew I heard Fawn, but I didn’t register it at the time. Holy shit…”

“And while we were there, they talked about someone in another room. Some wanker called Tirzah? Tirzah… Osgood. Dunno who he is, but from what we’ve seen of this ‘organization’ of his, he’s a total prick.”

“Isn’t Tirzah Osgood the woman who wrote a book on spirituality? She became quite popular in the months following the incident at Poppyland,” Harry remarked. 

“You mean that bitch who tried to blow me up?” Roxy scoffed, crossing her arms.

“Yes, I mean that ‘bitch’ who tried to blow up  _ several  _ people sitting here in this room,” Harry said. “She didn’t do very well at it, considering the circumstances.” 

“She’s lucky I didn’t get out of the damn shelter sooner. I would have strangled her myself.”

Eggsy chuckled slightly at the thought. That would have been a sight. Roxy with her hands wrapped around Poppy’s throat until her face went from red to blue, before ultimately perishing from lack of oxygen.

“I would have paid good money to see  _ that _ ,” Eggsy said.

“Can we  _ please _ stay on task?” Merlin insisted.

“Right, I apologize. That was my fault.” Roxy adjusted her glasses. “I do know a thing or two about miss Osgood, if you’re interested.”

Merlin raised his eyebrows, a curious expression crossing his face, “Oh, do go on, Lancelot.”

“Well, first of all, if you just  _ Googled _ her, you would know that she founded a pseudo-Christian religious group back February, 2016, and since the release of her book last year, she’s gained quite the following. Gaining the attention of even other religious leaders,” she said, sitting up straighter. “She claims to be ‘God herself’ and supposedly even has a messiah, prepared and happy to die for the sins of mankind when the time comes.”

“Jesus Christ.” Eggsy said.

“Nope. Fawn Newman, actually.”

Tequila’s eyes went wide, “What the fuck, how did I not-”

“Well, I’m assuming you didn’t ask her about her religious status.”

“Well, yeah no. I didn’t. Not exactly somethin’ that should be brought up while flirting or in the bedroom when I’m trying to-”

“Tequila,  _ please _ don’t finish that sentence!” Merlin’s voice rang out, alarmed.

“-... kiss her?”

“Yeah, sure. That’s what you were gonna say.” Eggsy rolled his eyes.

“Back on topic.” Roxy had her phone out, going through something, “I’ve been keeping up to date with her because I personally was interested in learning about her religious beliefs, considering it’s heavily skewed from the traditional Christian beliefs, and her website announced earlier this month that her and her messiah would be touring the U.S. with their apostles to spread their ‘good word and help to those who are less fortunate’ in America.”

Roxy offered her phone to Merlin, who took it and looked for himself.

“Well, lads. Looks like we’ve found your next mission. Arthur and I will contact Champ to see if sending you two over there will be possible.”

Eggsy groaned and put his head in his hands.  _ Again _ with being Tequila’s partner?

Tequila simply smirked at his reaction and tipped his hat to Merlin, “Sure thing, partner. I miss home anyway.”

*~*~*

Upon arrival to Statesman HQ, Ginger-- or well, Whiskey now --was there to greet them with a friendly smile. As soon as Jesse was off the jet, she hugged him tightly. “Heya! It’s about time you got here, we were beginning to wonder if you would actually be coming back. Oh, shoot. Ya know Moonshine? And how the bastard got himself killed? I  _ really _ think you should meet our new official replacement for ‘im.”

“Wasn’t my pick, right? Tommy was a bit of a bad idea for the role…” Jesse pulled away, and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. By now, Eggsy had made his way off the jet, and beside him was his suitcase.

“No, actually.” Her eyes stayed bright, and her smile widened, “It was mine and Cider’s pick.”

“Shit, really? Nice goin’, Elizabeth!” Jesse gave an approving grin. “So, where is this Moonshine then?”

“Over here, hot shot!” A young Asian woman piped up as she ran over, a big tooth-gapped grin on her face. “I’m Moonshine. I reckon you’re Tequila?” she took his hand firmly in her smaller ones, shaking his arm until it was sore. “I heard a mighty lot ‘bout ya! Glad I could finally meetchya!”

“Ah! Well, uh. It’s nice to meet ya too, little lady.” He laughed.

She then gasped when she saw Eggsy, quickly going over and shaking his hand just as ferociously as she did Jesse’s, “Why, heya! It’s nice to meetchya! I seen you in the records with some older fella as an example of teamwork coordination, and boy, you sure know how to kick some ass! I’m real impressed by your technique.” She paused thoughtfully, “You’re Galahad, right?”

“I er, uh…” Eggsy pulled his hand away when she finished, rubbing his shoulder and wrist, which were sore after she’d shook his hand so hard, “Yeah, tha’s me.” She seemed very flamboyant and friendly, but Eggsy could smell the alcohol on her breath from where he stood in front of her, despite not being very close to her face. He raised his eyebrows, “Drinking before 3? Adventurous.”  

“I have a glass with breakfast then have occasional shots throughout the day, shug.” She grinned, winking before turning to Elizabeth, “C’mon, let’s get back to Champ for our little briefin’.” She ran back off in the direction she came from, leaving Eggsy, Jesse, and Elizabeth in the dust, Jesse watching her in a mild interest.

“She’s…”

“Energetic? Aloof? Flamboyant? Overbearing? I know.” Elizabeth sighed softly, “She’s a saint though. Bit of an alcoholic, does a little more than just that, unfortunately…” She looked at Tequila, “I was actually hoping you could convince her to stop?”

“What we talkin’? Narcotics, hallucinogens, methamphetamines?”

“More like party drugs. Coke, ecstasy, roofies…”

“Shit, alright.” He frowned, “I’m surprised the whole blue rash epidemic didn’t put her off from that.”

“Me too, Jesse.”

He looked down at her, “Maybe I can convince her.”

She nodded and gave both agents a weak smile, “Come on, Champ is waiting for us back inside. We should hurry our asses before we’re late.”

“Right.”

The three of them walked along, Jesse and Elizabeth speaking between each other to catch up, smiling all the while. Eggsy kept his mouth shut, just listening to their voices. He liked not having to speak. Gave him time to think about what he would be likely to talk about later.

Champ greeted Jesse with open arms, embracing him. “It’s good t’ see ya, son.”

Jesse laughed, “You too, Champ. It’s been quite a while.”

“Sure has… Take a seat.” He gestured for them all to sit down, given Moonshine had already snagged herself a seat at the table in her rightful spot. As they all found their seats, Champ went on, “I suspect Moonshine already introduced herself? Wasn’t too much trouble, was she?”

“Oh, no, she was very friendly.” Jesse assured him. “She gave us quite the welcome.” He glanced down at her then turned a little more serious to be a little more professional, “So, how are we going to do this? I know Merlin went over this with us before we left and with you via call, but I think we’re going to need details.”

“Ah, yes. Right, well. The three of you will be going to her first rally here in two days, down in Alabama. From what I’ve heard, there’s supposed to be a fairly decent amount of people attending. About 1500, from what we’ve found. Tequila and Moonshine, you will be posing as a newly wed couple, and Whiskey and Galahad, you will be their friends. From what I understand as well, is that you and Tequila  _ know _ the mark for the mission, Fawn. I’m going to have to request you to both back off from putting the tracker gel in her drink and instead allow Moonshine or Whiskey to do that. We can’t let you get caught, but you’re vital to the success of this mission we ain’t gonna force you to stay back here with me.”

*~*~*

The first thing that Eggsy could think of to describe the current situation would be… A God rave. Not a bunch of Pagan Gods partying, but a genuine fucking rave with the sole purpose being to convert the participants into believing some psycho lady, who looked like she hadn’t seen the sun for her whole life, was  _ literally  _ God. Eggsy had concluded that the drugs and alcohol helped the converting of such beliefs, so he was thankful that Tequila and Moonshine had brought their own booze.

_ “I have to say, I wasn’t exactly expecting…  _ **_this_ ** _ … when I said ‘religious rally’. I was thinking more along the lines of a lovely dinner party, slash gala.”  _ Merlin’s voice chimed over the comms, vaguely audible over the techno music. 

“Me neither.” Whiskey’s eyes traveled across the area, searching for their mark.

“This here place is  _ my _ stompin’ grounds.” Moonshine piped up, “I’ve been here a few times back before I joined the national guard. There were lotsa parties when I was around, so I know my way ‘round a bit.” She rolled up her sleeves a bit and then grinned, “I also know how to get my way ‘round these sortsa folk. Just unbutton your shirt, tie it, and flirt around to find who it is yer lookin’ for.”

“Moonshine, with all due respect, I’m not tying my shirt like some hootchie.”

“There ain’t nothin wrong with bein’ a hootchie, shug, and there certainly ain’t no harm in actin’ like one for the mission.” She tipped her hat up with her sunny tooth-gapped grin and tied her shirt like she’d just explained before going off to flirt with a group of guys hanging around not too far away, who all laughed at something she said. She returned a few moments later, “Like that.”

Whiskey rolled her eyes, Tequila laughed, and Eggsy huffed, massaging his temples.

“Aw, y’all ain’t any fun.” She pouted at Eggsy and Whiskey then grinned at Tequila, “But you are!”

“Thanks, I try.” he winked.

_ Don’t be flirting with her you idiot, we’re on a mission _ , Eggsy had thought bitterly after turning his head back up to look at the both of them. Tequila, of course, could not read his thoughts and went on still.

“Ya know, I can be a lot more fun once you get to know me a bit better.”

“Well, I may or may not hold ya to that offer then, hot shot.” She hummed. “Now come on, let’s get searchin’ for this Newman lady.” She pranced off in a seemingly random direction and the three were left staring after her.

“Now, where could she be?” Whiskey mumbled, about to wander off when Merlin’s voice came across the comms once more.

_ “Newman’s over by the bar. As it seems, Moonshine is already on it, so just scope things out from here.”  _

“Well, that happened  _ way  _ quicker than I thought it would.”

_ “It’d be great if you could interact with ‘God’ herself, but I won’t set my hopes that high.”  _

“Gotchya, I can try and take that on.” Whiskey said, glancing at Eggsy who was now looking around for Tequila.

“What the fuck, where did that drunk twat go?”

“Oh my God, are you serious right now?” Whiskey muttered, “Merlin, we have an issue.”

_ “I can see that. Both Moonshine  _ **_and_ ** _ Tequila are missing now. While she managed to get the gel tracker in, I’m afraid we’ve lost them both now. You’re on your own.” _

“Wait, like,  _ lost them _ lost them? Not even on the feed?” 

_ “I’ve got eyes on them on the CCTV but telling you won’t be of much help considering the crowd around you two. Their glasses and comms are off as well, so they wouldn’t be communicating back to me if I tried. I don’t think they’d want to, right now.” _ There was a slight hint of horror in his tone.

“Oh my God he’s not-”

“I’m afraid that’d be the only reason why he’d have those off, Galahad.” Whiskey huffed.

_ “Yep. He is.”  _

“That fucking horny  _ wanker _ .” Eggsy muttered, “We’re supposed to be on a bloody mission right now, why the hell does he do this?”

“That’s a conversation you can get into later with him, Galahad. Right now we need to locate Osgood.” Whiskey started to walk around, looking around for the woman. “I expected her to be with her ‘Messiah’ out in the open, but I guess I was incorrect in my assumptions.”

“Yeah.” Eggsy muttered.


End file.
